“The heart of my shame research is really about resilience. Across all of my interviews, women and men with high levels of shame resilience share four things in common – they:

1. Recognize shame and their triggers
2. Practice critical awareness
3. Reach out and share their story
4. Speak shame”

From Dr. Brene Brown’s Blog Post,  shame-researcher-heal-thyself

1. Recognize it and your triggers

“By learning to name our previously unrecognized feelings … we reclaim the exiled and unconscious aspects of our being….Naming also enables us to own our feelings without becoming overly identified with any single one of them. By staying centered in the witnessing self, we can name and compassionately hold all our emotions without becoming overwhelmed by any single state.  Thus, we can experience a full range of emotions without letting any one define or control us.”  Estelle Frankel, Sacred Therapy

2. Practice critical awareness

3. Reach out and share your story

“The word ‘courage’ comes from the Latin word ‘cor,’ which means heart.  The middle English usage of “courage” included the capacity  “to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” - Dr. Annie Rogers via Dr Brene Brown

“Shame breeds three things; fear, blame, and disconnection. So how do we practice courage in a culture of fear, in a culture where belonging and fitting in and being accepted are so critically important?  How do I tell you my stories about the imperfect moments in my life, about the time when I was just not the mom that I wanted to be, about the time when I really screwed up at work and I lost the client? Telling our story is the only way that we get out from underneath shame.”  - Dr Brene Brown

4. Speak shame

I highly recommend checking out the shame-resilience category in Dr. Brene Brown’s Blog Ordinary Courage.